My love,

I'm sorry for everything you have had to deal with me. I have depression problems and anxiety issues and unfortunately it has gotten in the way of every relationship I've had (including friendships). But I am trying so hard and have put more effort into saving this then anything else.

So many people have told me to stop and to keep my issues in my head and not in my actions. But I am never able to listen to them. Until you asked me. I cannot explain why you asking me is so much different then everyone else. My family. My friends. I don't know myself so I couldn't even begin telling you. But I do know that is something really great and special.

Am I in now way trying to make you feel like you have to stay with me to make me feel better. Because you don't. But I am so grateful for every single day that you do. About ten or so months now you have done nothing but support me and be here for me. That's more than I can say about everyone else who gets what they want and then leave. Even when it hurt you and all your friends told you it wasn't worth it, you stayed through.

And I know sometimes it can be a challenge, but you can see that I am trying and working as hard as I can. And yet I would try even harder just to show you how I feel.

I've told you all these things so many times but I want to shout it to the world. I am the luckiest girl for having someone like you. Who cares. And although it can be hard, I promise you it will be worth the wait.


I always tend to ruin things on my own. I have some sort of inner demon who likes to fuck with my emotions and cause me to go into a panic. But this time, I cannot let it win. I am going to do everything in my power to keep you remembering how special I can be. I know it, and so do you. Please, don't forget it.

With all my love I have,
Courtney <3